GENERALLY ACCEPTED RULES OF ETIQUETTE
INVITATIONS
• Invitations to the wedding, reception or both are usually issued by the bride’s parents.
• If both parents are not living, invitations are issued by the one parent.
• If the parents are separated or divorced, invitations are issued by the parent with whom the
bride lives or to whom she is closer. Recent trends show that many brides of divorced parents
choose to have invitations issued by both parents.
• If both parents of the bride are deceased, invitations may be issued by the nearest relative or
by the bride and groom themselves.
• Invitations are mailed not more than six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding date. All of
the invitations should be mailed at one time.
• In cooperation with both of their families, the bride and groom jointly make out the list of
guests to invite to the ceremony or reception. No one should be overlooked. Casual friends,
business associates and those away from home or for other reasons not expected to attend
should nevertheless be included.
• Current rules of etiquette note that an R.S.V.P. should be requested for all home, garden, club
or hotel ceremony invitations and for all receptions. It would be appropriate to enclose a response
card and printed reply envelope with each invitation. Invitations to a church ceremony do not
require a reply unless seating is very limited.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
• Wedding announcements are issued by the nearest relative of the bride.
• The same general rules that apply to invitations also apply to announcements.
• Announcements are mailed immediately after the ceremony, on the same day if possible, to those
who did not receive an invitation to the wedding.
ENVELOPES
• Traditional invitations are enclosed in two envelopes for mailing.
• The less informal 4-color printed invitations are mailed without the inner envelope.
• The larger outside envelope is gummed for sealing, and should be fully addressed, such as "Mr.
and Mrs. Joseph F. Smith". Individual names and children’s names can be written.
• A return address, with or without the name of sender, may be printed on the flap of the outside
envelope to ensure that invitations undelivered due to an incorrect or insufficient address will be
returned.
• Printed return address envelopes may be ordered. The printing on envelopes will be flat.
• Also available are optional lined inner envelopes. Printing is not available.
FOLDING AND TISSUES
• Traditional classic invitations and announcements are folded so printed surface appears on the
outside (page one) of the folder.
• Other invitations may have designs on the front (page one) and the wording on the inside (page
three) of the folder.
• Tissues are placed directly over the printed area for the preservation of the thermography.
• Invitations are then inserted into the inner ungummed envelopes, folded-edge first.
• The inner envelopes are placed into the outer gummed envelopes, so that the name on the inner
envelope faces the flap of the outer envelope.
RESPONSE CARDS (R.S.V.P.)AND PRINTED REPLY ENVELOPES
• Enclosed with the invitations, response (R.S.V.P.) cards and printed reply envelopes are essential
to the planning of a wedding, especially if a meal is to be served. They enable the family planning
the wedding to know how many will be in attendance.
• All home, garden, club or hotel ceremony invitations usually require R.S.V.P. cards. Invitations to a
church ceremony do not require a reply, unless space is limited.
INFORMALS
• Informals are small folders with the name or monogram of the bride and groom, or the bride only,
on the front. Space inside is for the bride to acknowledge each gift received. Complete with
envelopes, they may also be used as notes or gift cards after the wedding.
ENCLOSURES
Inserted with each invitation, enclosure cards or folders contain additional information for some or all of the persons to whom invitations or announcements are sent. The most common enclosures are: reception cards, wedding breakfast cards, ceremony cards, pew cards, and at-home cards.
RECEPTION CARDS
• To those invited only to the marriage ceremony, no reception card is enclosed.
• To those also invited to a reception, a card is enclosed showing time and place, such as:
Reception
immediately following ceremony
White Orchid Room
Or
Dinner
seven o'clock
Kingston Hotel
Seattle, Washington
• It is desirable and in accordance with rules of etiquette to require an R.S.V.P. to a reception.
• A response card allows the invited guest to conveniently notify the host or hostess of his or her
plans.
WEDDING BREAKFAST CARDS
• If held before one o’clock, the reception is called a “Wedding Breakfast”.
• The form of a wedding breakfast card follows that of the reception card.
• See the comments Under “Reception Cards” concerning R.S.V.P. The same practice applies to the
“Wedding Breakfast” event.
CEREMONY CARDS
• Used only when a few are invited to the ceremony but a larger number is invited to the reception. It
may read simply:
Ceremony
Seven o’clock in the morning
Los Angeles Temple
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
PEW CARDS
• These are sent with invitations to special friends and relatives who are to be seated in reserved
sections of the church.
AT-HOME CARDS
• At-home cards are a convenient means for the bride and groom to inform their friends of their
future address. When enclosed with invitations, they do not include names, simply:
At home
After the sixteenth of September
3128 Washington Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland 95123
• When enclosed with announcements, names may be used such as:
Mr. and Mrs. James Paul Connelly
Will be at home
After the thirtieth of January
283 Westfield Way
Chicago, Illinois 60610
• The latter form may also be used with At-Home cards mailed in separate envelopes following the
ceremony.
• Recent trends show that couples prefer to state both of their full names. The bride includes her
maiden name (e.g., Stephen and Kristen Wilson McDermott). The new telephone number, if
known, can also be included.
THANK-YOU NOTES
• These are a “must” when a wedding gift is received.
• A short note of appreciation may be written on an informal or on a specially designed Thank You
Note.
• They are mailed in provided envelopes following the ceremony or reception.
SAVE-THE-DATE CARDS
• Save-the-date cards are sent to future guests four to six months before
the wedding.
• The advance notice of the upcoming event is especially helpful to out-of-town friends and relatives
who will need to make travel plans.
